I once read a book on blogging. It said no matter how many blogs you make your first post is basically always going to be rubbish. I am a firm believer of that. Should I jump in and start explaining my life? Should I keep it short and sweet to keep from boring the possible audience members? I’m unaware of an effective way of doing this so I say go check out the About section, because I’m going to jump in.
I’m a mere 24 years old, yet I feel like an old woman. I was married to my high school sweetheart. In hindsight, sweetheart is a fairly good word for what that relationship was. I was too young to know what that illusive thing called LOVE truly was. Sure, I knew it wasn’t a fairy tale, but I didn’t know the mechanics to it. After ten years of being together, a year of attempting to become pregnant and eventually losing the baby, we got a divorce.
Today, I’m in a relationship with a wonderful man, yet I’m scared to death. No one explained to me that this was what love was really like. Most days, I feel like I’m trying to maneuver about a dark room, I am walking slowly hands held in front for protection, yet I keep running into things. How frustrating. One wrong step and I could lose it all (ok it probably wouldn’t happen just like that, but you know what I mean.) I didn’t learn how to love the first time around, and didn’t expect it to happen to me now…
My mother is dying, yet she has been my entire life. That is a different story for a different post. I have recently had some major surgeries. I am working two jobs to afford my shoebox and my frivolous spending habits (wait those stopped after the divorce.) I am going to school to get an English degree, for what? I have no idea… Clarity would be an appreciated gift at this point in my life, but I don’t expect it to appear any time soon.
This is not a blog to whine and complain. That doesn’t get you anywhere in life. It is a blog to tell my story, because if I can help someone get through some of the things I have experienced, If I can make any sense of it all, then it will all be worth it.